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PEOPLE HAVE SEEN THIS BANNER! |
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The History of the Middle Finger
Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."
IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
You want to know who is Rajanikanth....here are the facts
Rajanikanth makes onions cry
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman..... out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on,......... .... he turns the dark off.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Rajanikanth?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.
When you say "no one's perfect", Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "Yes sir, I did." The robber then shot him in the temper , killing him instantly.
He then turned to a couple standing next to him and asked the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No sir, I didn't, but my wife did!"
| Computer Dependency Test
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NOT A STORY BUT A
TRUE INCIDENT
An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?
The Indian replies:
"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"
Ah, the mind of the Indian...
This is why India is shining
FYI.............
. Why not take a chance?
Dear Friends,
Please do not take this for a junk letter. Bill Gates is sharing his fortune. If you ignore this you will repent later. Microsoft and AOL are now the largest Internet companies and in an effort to make sure that Internet Explorer remains the most widely used program, Microsoft and AOL are running an e-mail beta test.
When you forward this e-mail to friends, Microsoft can and will track it (if you are a Microsoft Windows user) for a two week time period.
For every person that you forward this e-mail to, Microsoft will pay you $245.00, for every person that you sent it to that forwards it on, Microsoft will pay you $243.00 and for every third person that receives it, you will be paid $241.00. Within two week! s, Microsoft will contact you for your address and then send you a cheque.
MONKEY IN THE PLANE
Once in Brazil a plane crashed, only a monkey who was traveling in the plane was left alive.
Fortunately the monkey was intelligent enough to understand our language and reply in actions.
The officials went to see the monkey in the hospital and had a talk with the monkey.
Officer: 'When the plane took off what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Tying their belts'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Saying Hello! Good morning!'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Checking the system'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Looking for my people'
Officer: 'After 10' minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Having beverages and snacks'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Serving the travelers'
Officer: 'What were the Pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Eating & throwing'
Officer: 'After 30 minutes what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'Some were sleeping and some were reading'
Officer: 'What were the air hostesses doing?'
Monkey: 'Make up'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the steering'
Officer: 'What were you doing?'
Monkey: 'Nothing'
Officer: 'Just before plane crash what were the travelers doing?'
Monkey: 'All were sleeping'
Officer: 'What were the pilots doing?'
Monkey: 'Handling the air hostess'
Officer: What were you doing?
Monkey: Handling the steering!!!!!
No more Questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ref: SA2010/LO6278
Batch: 2008/JHB/DM/F36
Dear Winner,
The Local organizing committee (LOC) of the South African 2010 FIFA World Cup
happily announces to you the draws of the 2010 FIFA World cup international
promotion lottery program held in conjunction with Swissmail.org here
in Zurich, Switzerland on the 14th of June, 2008. Your e-mail address
attached to ticket number: B9665 75604546 199 with Serial number 97560
drew the winning numbers: 5, 22, 31, 36, 43, 48 and BONUS NUMBER 38 in
the draw which was co-sponsored by world football's governing body,
FIFA, and their principal sponsors. Your have therefore been approved
to claim a total sum of US$1,820,000.00 (One Million, Eight Hundred
and Twenty Thousand United States Dollars Only) credited to file
number SA2010/INL/CPT9265/06.
To file for your claim, immediately send your full names, address, telephone
numbers, sex, date of birth, occupation, nationality and the reference
and batch numbers at the top left hand side of this message to our
"PRINCIPAL CLAIM AGENT" as soon as you get this message. His contact
details are;
Name: Mr. Mafika Mahlangu.
TEL: +27-73-567-2427 Fax: +27-865-118-819
E-mail: mafikamahlangu@pnetmail.co.za or mafikamahlangu@aol.com
Signed:
Mrs. Alexander Moore (Zonal Co-coordinator).
Mr. Danny JORDAAN (Chief Executive Officer).
A little girl asked her mother,
'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered,
'Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
so make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.
Grandpa(the 1st boss ;) ) make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
There
was a good old barber in Hyderabad. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you, I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber he again refuses to take the money. The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there ......
Scroll down for answer...................
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A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... With Printouts of the Forwarded mail mentioning about free
haircut!
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.
Jamie was trying out for a part in the school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she feared he would not be chosen.
On the day the parts were awarded, I went with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with pride and excitement. 'Guess what, Mom,' he shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me.....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'
If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don't, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don't, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don't, you do not understand
If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don't, you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it's bad
If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk
That's A GIRL!
~~~~~
Car operating system
Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
*******
Time for some male bashing..... (For a change)...
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are...
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
The ground first?
A: Who cares?????.....
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind ii) no business
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no
Intention of driving.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.
Pass this on to some women who need a laugh...
And to men who can handle it!
When I got home from work last night, my wife demanded
that I take her out to some place expensive................ ....
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So I took her to a petrol station
Why Bill Gates decides to Sell OFF Microsoft?
Letter from Banta Singh to Mr. Bill Gates
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. One doubt is whether
any 're
-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
3. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this 'find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
4. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Mi crosoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
5. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'My Computer': when you will povide the remaining items?
6. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that
.
7. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.
8. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
9. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Last one to Mr. Bill Gates:
Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but you are selling WINDOWS?
Gates' Rules
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School
about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school
. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.
Rule 1
: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2
: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3
: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4
: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5
: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6
: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7
: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8
: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9
: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10
: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11
: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Microsoft's Crazy Facts
MAGIC #1
Nobody can create a FOLDER anywhere on the computer which can be named as "CON".
This is something pretty cool...and unbelievable. ..
At Microsoft the whole Team, couldn't answer why this happened!
TRY IT NOW, IT WILL NOT CREATE "CON" FOLDER
MAGIC #2
This is something pretty cool and neat...and unbelievable. ..
At Microsoft the whole Team, including Bill Gates, couldn't answer why this happened!
Try it out yourself...
Open Microsoft Word and type
=rand (200, 99)
And then press ENTER
MAGIC #3
For those of you using Windows, do the following:
1. Open an empty notepad file
2. Type "Bush hid the facts" (without the quotes)
3. Save it as whatever you want.
4. Close it, and re-open it.
Is it just a really weird bug?
You can try the same thing above with another sentence "this app can break"
Explanation for Magic #1:
In windows the folder name and the special system variables share the same interface, so when you create a folder with a system variable name it will consider that folder already exist!!
These special system variables are available irrespective of path
You cannot create a folder with these names also:
CON, NUL, COM1, COM2, COM3, LPT1, LPT2, LPT3,COM1 to COM9 and LPT1 to LPT9....
CON means console, COM1 means serial port 1, LPT1 means parallel port 1
Once upon a time, a man in a hot air balloon realized that he was lost. He
reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and
shouted. "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him
an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied. "You're in a hot air balloon hovering
approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 50 and 51 degrees
north latitude and between 114 and 115 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I've no idea what to make use of your information. The fact
is, I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If
anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be aMANAGER."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "
You don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep,
and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems.
The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we
met,
but now, somehow, you've managed to make it my fault!!"__
UR also a manager kya???
Rohit wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Rohit looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Rohit asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, Rohit asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"
Moral
Self-induced hangover -- Rs. 2000.00
Broken furniture -- Rs. 20,000.00
Breakfast -- Rs. 100.00
Saying "The Right Thing" While Drunk – PRICELESS
The new Bengaluru International Airport will commence operations on Sarturday, May 24, 2008 (00:01 hours of May 23). All flights landing and departing after midnight will operate from the new airport and flights arriving before midnight (on May 23, 2008) and departing after midnight will also operate from the new airport.
As the date fast approaches, we would like to give you some insights into the whole new passenger experience that awaits you.
Departure from Bengaluru International Airport
Please find information on the location of the airport and the various means of transport how to get there in the attached materials. Once you arrived at the airport, enter the check in hall, which is common for domestic and international passengers. There are 53 Check In Counters and 18 self check in machines. There is no need to screen your bag before check in.
Once you have checked in, follow the domestic and international departure gate signs on the first floor and proceed through security. Post security check you have on offer a wide array of retail and food & beverage offerings. There are also comfortable lounges for first and business class passengers. Free Wi-Fi Internet is also available for those carrying their laptops.
Arrival a Bengaluru International Airport
The airport is equipped with adequate number of immigration counters and baggage carousels for quick baggage retrieval. A large duty free shop is also located in the baggage claim area.
The following means of transport are available from day one:
AC Volvo Buses operated by BMTC to key destinations in the city (Indicative Price to MG Road: Rs. 120)
Reliable professional taxi services operated by MERU and Easycabs, with a metered fare (Indicative Rate to MG Road: Rs. 600)
Premium Limusine Cars operated by Hertz and Akbar Travels C cars with drivers as well as self driven cars are available.
Please find attached three documents for your reference
1. Easy Guide to Bengaluru International Airport
2. BMTC route map and parking maps
3. Landmarks on the way to Bengaluru International Airport from Hebbal
Easy Guide to Bengaluru International Airport
- Bengaluru International Airport, the gateway to South India, is situated to the north of Bengaluru on the National Highway 7 and is 40kms from the city’s central business district.
- The Bengaluru International Airport will commence operations from 00:01 am on 24th May, 2008.
This Easy Guide will give you a snapshot of the airport and how to get there.
GETTING TO AND FROM BENGALURU INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT
AIRPORT TAXI SERVICE: Easy Cabs and Meru Cabs operate professional and reliable
taxi services to and from Bengaluru International Airport.
The taxis wait on the inner curb right in front of the Terminal Building as well as in the
designated taxi area.
There is no need to purchase a voucher. You pay at the end of the journey based on the
metered fare. All journeys are tracked by GPRS. You can pay by credit card also and receive in
any case, a printed receipt in the car.
In case of a taxi requirement to the airport, you can call the following All India Call Center
Numbers given below:
Easy Cab : +91 (80 ) 4343-4343
Meru Cab: +91 ( 80) 4422 4422
Rates for Airport Taxi Service
Rs. 15 per km, plus waiting charge @ Rs. 60 per hour. Indicative rate to MG Road: Rs. 600
LIMOUSINE AND CAR RENTAL: Apart from the airport taxi service, passengers can also rent
premium cars. This service is provided by Akbar Travels and Hertz
Hertz +91 99725 02292
Akbar 1800 22 6000
Cars with drivers as well as self driven cars are available. Indicative rate upto 25 km: Rs. 1200 (e.g: Innova, Honda City)
AIRPORT SHUTTLE SERVICE to/from the Bangalore International Airport
Airport Shuttle Service connects various locations in the city
Shuttle Routes
Route - 1: Whitefield
Route - 2: Electronics City
Route - 3: HAL Airport
Route - 4: Jeevan Bhima Nagar
Route - 5: Koramangala
Route - 6: J.P. Nagar 6th Phase
Route - 7: M.C.T.C. Bus Station
Route - 8: Hebbal
Route - 9: Kempegowda Bus Station
Indicative rate to M.G. Road: Rs. 120
For exact timings please log on to www.bengaluruairport.com or check at the Airport Shuttle Bay. In general, the frequency of the buses is one every 30 minutes per route.
PARKING: Bengaluru International Airport provides parking facilities for 2000
vehicles at various rates as follows:
Parking Rates
A variety of shopping and dining options and various services are available at the airport.
P1 - Long Term Parking :
- Rs. 50 per 4 hours
- Rs. 300 for the first day (24 hours)
- Rs. 200 for every additional day
P2/P3 - General Parking:
- Rs. 40 per 2 hours
- Rs. 20 per every additional hour
Drop-off and Pick-up Area:
- No charges for the first 10 minutes
- Rs. 50 for every additional 15 minutes
Premium Pick-up Area:
- Rs. 50 for first 15 minutes
- Rs. 50 per every additional 15 minutes
Valet Service:
- Rs. 150 for the service
- Valet parking charge is as per the rates charged for P1 - Long Term Parking (refer above)
PORTER SERVICE at the Bangalore International Airport
Porter Service Rates
• Rs. 70 minimum charges for upto three bags
• Rs. 25 for every additional bag
• Rs. 250 for group baggage (12bags)
• No tips
SHOPPING, DINING AND OTHER FACILITIES
OTHER FACILITIES: • 4 Lounges • Business Center (Opening in July) • Free Wifi facility • Postal
Service • 21 Airline Counters • 8 ATM machines • 4 Baby Care Rooms • 3 Foreign Exchange Services.
IMPORTANT INFORMATION FOR INTERNATIONAL PASSENGERS travelling to/from the Bangaluru International Airport
A User Development Fee of Rs. 1070 will be collected from all outbound international passengers using the Bengaluru International Airport. The User Development Fee is towards the cost for construction and operation of the airport and has been approved by the Ministry of Civil Aviation of India.
Departure before or on 30 June, 2008
International Passengers traveling out of Bengaluru International Airport before or on 30 June, 2008 will have to make payment of the User Development Fee at the counters provided in the check-in hall or on the first floor before emigration check counters. Passengers should produce the receipt of payment at the time of emigration check.
Payment can be made by cash, debit card or credit card (Visa/Mastercard only).
If you are paying by cash you are requested to provide exact change for quicker processing.
Please allow 10 minutes for the transaction during peak hours between 2200 hrs and 0300 hrs. And about 3-5 minutes at all other times.
Departure on or after 01 July, 2008
For passengers traveling out of Bengaluru International Airport on or after 01 July, 2008, the User Development Fee will be included in your ticket.
Exemptions
Infants under the age of 2 years and Airline Crew on duty are exempted from User development Fee.
A new vacuum cleaner salesman knocked on the door on the first house of the street. A tall lady answered the door.
Before she could speak, the enthusiastic salesman barged into the living room and opened a big black plastic bag and poured all the cow droppings onto the carpet.
"Madam, if I could not clean this up with the use of this new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!" exclaimed the eager salesman.
"Do you need chilli sauce or ketchup with that" asked the lady.
The bewildered salesman asked, "Why, madam?"
"There's no electricity in the house..." said the lady
MORAL: Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client...!!!
Have you heard the story of "The Washerman and the Foolish Donkey"?
To refresh your memory, and for the benefit of those who have not grown up listening to this moral story, it goes like this…
There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.
Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"
Now take a new look at the same story…
The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a "meets requirement". Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation.....
Disclaimer:
All characters in the story are not at all imaginary. Any resemblance to person living or dying of work is purely intentional.
Santa : What Do U Want?
Banta:I Want To Marry AISHWARYA RAI
Santa:Beta She Wear SarisWorth Rs.25000 U Cant Afford Take MALLIKA
Credit Card Skimming
SKIMMING is the direct transfer of electronic data from the magnetic strip on a credit card or debit card to a card-reading device. The skimmed data is then transferred from the reading device onto another plastic card that has a magnetic strip on it. The fraudster can then create a card with the same characteristics and use it freely - till identified or caught. Needless to add, skimming is illegal.
Credit card skimming is an international problem accounting for losses of over one-billion dollars a year. This type of credit card scam is common in Europe, Asia and Latin America and is starting to show up more in the United States.
This scam is easy to run - it can happen when you give your credit card to a store employee to make a purchase. That employee may not only swipe your card for payment, but also swipe the card with a small machine they hold in their hand known as a skimmer. This small device will store the information from your card into its system. The skimmer is equipped to hold information on hundreds of credit cards and from this information, the crooks are able to produce counterfeit cards.
There are skimming rings working all over the world and once your information is put into the skimmer, it is then downloaded into a computer, ready to be emailed to anyone worldwide.
A decade ago, this fraud was not as easy to accomplish as it is today, due to the fact skimmers were very large and had to be hidden under
counters. However, with the advance of technology in the past ten years, they have been able to streamline the skimmer, making it small enough to be hand-held and out of sight of the unwary customer making a purchase. These skimmers are easy to buy; in fact, they can be purchased over the internet at around $300. The machine needed to make counterfeit credit cards is a much larger investment - costing $5,000 to $10,000.
Another form of this scam is done by actually pulling information directly from the credit card terminals. A skimmer bug is placed into the terminal and later retrieved with credit card information on it. Only the older terminals can be violated in this way and with the onset of new credit card terminals, this has alleviated much of this bugging.
As soon as the crooks have their needed information on you, they will start their shopping sprees using your credit card number. They purchase all types of merchandise and charge it to your credit card. Over half of credit card fraud is done over the internet with online purchases. With shopping on the internet becoming more and more popular, card fraud on the internet has also increased.
The crooks will also use the internet to verify the card information is valid. They will purchase many low-ticket items through various websites, checking to see if the card is active. Internet processing of card purchases is done by real-time processing and not handled by a person; thus, no chance of them being caught trying to use a stolen card number.
Where can skimming take place?
Skimming generally takes place at petrol stations, restaurants, hotels and such outlets where the swipe terminal is not in your sight.
Warning signs:
Tips to avoid becoming a victim of skimming:
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Smith on the IPL
With the Indian Premier League in full swing, Dan Nicholl speaks exclusively to South African captain Graeme Smith about cricket's revolution, life in India, and playing in the same side as Shane Warne…
Dan: You've been in India now for a while, Graeme, and we've all been watching with interest. What would you say the highlights have been so far?
Graeme: Hmmm… Difficult one, Dan. There's a lot to weigh up, a lot to consider – it's been a bit of a blur, with so much crammed into such a short space of time. But if I had to single out a few highlights, I'd probably go with the chicken masala in Bangalore, the lamb korma in Calcutta, and the garlic nan bread we had before the last game against the Delhi Daredevils. That was something special.
Dan: I see. And any cricket highlights so far…?
Graeme: Definitely. Playing in front of a full house, the adrenaline at the crease, getting another innings started for the Royals – it's electric out there, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Dan: The Rajasthan Royals are top of the IPL, and it looks to be going smoothly. Any criticisms with the competition?
Graeme: Not really. Dinner break is a little short, perhaps — you don't have time for much more than a little breyani, maybe a poppadom or two. And I wouldn't have minded bowling a few overs, I suppose.
Dan: The South African papers have been awash with letters demanding to know why you haven't been bowling. Is there a reason?
Graeme: Shane's spoken to me, and said that my Test and one-day averages already look like Twenty20 figures, so I assume he means I'm ready to bowl. I can only think he's keeping me for later in the tournament. Quite a few of the other teams have told me that they really think I should get a bowl, so it's only a matter of time, I'm sure.
Dan: Speaking of Shane, what's it like playing with Warnie. We weren't sure you two would get along very well…
Graeme: Media causing trouble again, Dan, that's all. Shane and I are great mates, and we always have been. I've learnt a lot from, little things you only pick after a long spell in the game. Did you know, for instance, that if you're a top spin bowler, like Shane and myself, the best way to strengthen your spinning fingers is to send text messages on your mobile phone? Shane sends dozens a day, and look what it's done for him as a bowler.
Dan: You've got a lot of texts to send, then… How about the other South Africans. Are they doing okay?
Graeme: Mixed bag, to be honest. Polly's been great, Albie and Bouch have done well, but Jacques hasn't quite got going yet, and I'm worried about Herschelle. Every time he sees an Indian policeman he goes pale, and he made us all swear that if anyone asked, he'd never even met Nicky Bojé or Pieter Strydom. Hopefully he'll get some runs soon.
Dan: And have you had anything to do with Harbajhan?
Graeme: India's Andre Nel? Not since he made Sreesanth burst into tears, no. It's a pity he's out, 'cos the crowds love him, but you can't pick on Sreesanth. He's like Roger Federer — you know he's only going to start crying when he gets emotional.
Dan: Speaking of emotional, lots of emotional South Africans on the news that you may be staying in India?
Graeme: I saw the reports, and they're not really accurate. I'll be coming back later in the year for a brief stint, and there will be more visits in the coming years, but South Africa's still home.
Dan: Any particular reason for the visits?
Graeme: I suppose I might as well tell you. I've got a cameo with Brett Lee in a movie that's filming in Mumbai later in the year, and depending on how that goes, I could come back with Jacques for a feature film early next year. Between my Momentum adverts and Jacques's work with Sanex, I think we're ready for the big screen, and Bollywood's a perfect platform.
Dan: And the film in question…?
Graeme: Probably an historical romantic comedy thriller. I'll play a Hugh Grant meets Steven Seagal type character, with Jacques playing a flamboyant opera singer who's secretly a spy. It's all very exciting, and we've done a couple of early readings. But that's a long way off — for now it's taking the Royals to the final, and hopefully taking a few wickets along the way. And some more of that garlic nan bread in Delhi…
A father passing by his teenage daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was addressed "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.......
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving home. I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real happiness with Randy and he
is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you'll like him too - even with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the this happiness Dad, I'm pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to have the kid
and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is much older than me (anyway, 42 isn't so old these days, is it?), and has no money, really these things shouldn't stand in the way of our relationship, don't you agree?
Randy has a great CD collection; he already owns a trailer in the woods and
has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. It's true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he'll be faithful to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too.
Randy taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and he'll be
growing it for us and we'll trade it with our friends for all the cocaine we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy can get better; he sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your loving daughter,
Rosie.
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PTO". Hands still trembling, and slight pain in the chest her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbour's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that's in my desk center drawer. Please sign it and call when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!
