Fw: Naughty Johnny

She brought him up to her room and said "Johnny, take off my top."an he took off her top. "Now Johnny, take off my skirt." and he took off her skirt. "Please take off my bra, Johnny." and he took off her bra."Johnny please take off my panties." and he took off her panties. Now Johnny please don't wear my clothes to school anymore.
=================================================================
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car pass the play ground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane in a"Passionate Embrace". Little Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly,"MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND...." Mommy tells him to slow down. She wants to hear the story. So Little Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy...." At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time.I wantto see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight." At the dinner table, Mommy asks Little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny starts his story, describing the car going into the woods, the undressing,laying down on the seat, and "....then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Navy."
=================================================================
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot" The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking," Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the riple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding ring on, .........but I like your thinking.
=================================================================
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic."Why?" asks the father."The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!" "Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father. "That's what I said!
=================================================================
Five years old Johnny and his little sister are peeping through a keyhole at their parents making love "Wow, look at them! And we are not allowed even to stick a finger in our nose!"
=================================================================
Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other. "Dad, what're the dogs doing?" asks Johnny. "Well, the one below has relaxed and the one above has concentrated." "Okay, I've understood." "What've you understood!?" asks the father sarcastically. "Never relax in your life, dad, or you'll get fucked like a dog!"
=================================================================
Little Johnny was a curious little guy and was always asking questions. One day, when his aunt was visiting, he went into his typical interrogation.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how old are you? Auntie: Well Johnny, that's not a question that you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, how much do you weigh? Auntie: Johnny! That's not a question you ask a lady.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, why don't you and your boyfriend sleep in the same bed? Auntie: Johnny, stop this! That's not a question you ask a lady!
Johnny went off to play but the next day he was talking to his aunt again.
Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know howold you are. You're 32 years old.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that? Johnny: Auntie, Auntie, Auntie, I know how much you weigh. You're 135 pounds.
Auntie: Johnny! How do you know that? Johnny: And Auntie, Auntie, Auntie. I know why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Johnny! Stop this! How do you know all this? Johnny: Well, I found your driver's license last night. Here it says that you're 32 years old and here it says that you weigh 135 pounds. And right down here it explains why you don't sleep in the same bed as your boyfriend.
Auntie: Where does it say that? Johnny: Right here. It says you got an "F" in Sex.