Fw: Santa and banta

Santa was standing on the railing of a high bridge getting ready to jump off, when he happened to look down and see a little man with no arms dancing all around on the river bank.Santa thought to himself, "Life isn`t so bad after all," and got off the railing.He then walked down to the river bank to thank the little man for saving his life."Thank you," Santa said. "I was going to jump off that bridge and kill myself, but when I saw you dancing even though you have no arms, I changed my mind.""I am not dancing," the armless man replied bitterly. "My asshole itches, and I can`t scratch it....

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Banta enters a bank to see about getting a business loan."What kind of business do you want to start?" asks the bank manager."I have some black powder. You sprinkle it on a women's vagina and it makes it taste like a peach.""I don't think we can give you a loan," was the reply so the guy left. A few months later he went into the bank with a suitcase filled with money.The same bank manager came up to him and asked, "Congratulations, I guess that idea for black powder really paid off.""Nah, that didn't go anywhere. I made my money with this white powder.""Really," replied the bank manager. "What does it do?""Give me a peach and I'll show you."